1. You've had your age 25 mid-life crisis and perceive anyone over 30 as old, even though you just turned 30.
2. You've traveled the world at least twice funding your coming-of-age journey through Kickstarter or various maxed out credit cards.
3. You didn't come of age because it is impossible for you to grow up, even though you are now 30 (I believe you already, you'll never get married or buy a house. You may as well be dead or retired when that happens.)
4. You are victimized by a world that mistreats you and affronts you with inappropriate and disrespectful interactions because you are expected to grow up but refuse to (see #3).
5. You believe you are profound, so profound in fact that other people can't understand you. So you ignore them.
6. You ignore people who complain about you or your bad manners.
7. It is impossible for you to get over yourself.
8. You were raised to think that you are special ("totes") and think that every criticism is an attack on you (because the world revolves around you, afterall).
9. The world is unfair and you are so depressed now. You are a victimized introvert. Reality never matches your expectations.
10. It's never your fault because the rest of the world simply doesn't realize that you are right.
11. You refuse to fix your terrible manners because #10. Ignoring DM's, emails, phone calls, or other common extensions of courtesy is due to your profundity (it couldn't be your terrible manners, right?)
12. Ignoring other people doesn't make you ignorantly indifferent and self-centered.
13. You are entitled...to everything...because it is your "right."
14. You like to photograph...everything. Including yourself.
15. You're not glued to your phone like a drug-addicted lab rat, tap tap tapping your life away. (Texting, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter..."THEY ARE MY LIFE.")
16. It couldn't be that there is a rude awakening in store for you because of your childishly earnest optimism. But you have no money, no knowledge, and no real job.
17. You blame your terrible manners on "social awkwardness."
18. No, you are not a narcissist. You just practice "self-love."
19. You are not confused, lazy, selfish, or of the belief that only if people would coach your grandiose skills then you would finally be the star that you really are rather than an abject failure.
20. You don't need any gate-keeper's permission to go after those high goals because success will be yours on a plate.